A man was an avid gardner… Saw a small butterfly laying a few eggs in one of the pots in his garden since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness. The egg started to move and shake a little. He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg started to expand and develop cracks.. A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly.
The man’s excitement knew no bounds he got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out. He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn’t resisit his urge to HELP. He went and got a tender forcep the help the egg break, a nip here a nip there to help the struggling life. And LO! The pupa was out; the man was ecstatic! He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly about like a beautiful butterfly, but alas! that never happened! The larvae pupa had a oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for full 4 weeks and died!
Depressed the man went to his botanist friend and asked the reason. His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it thru its 4 week life cycle, in his eagerness to help, the man destroyed a beautiful life! Struggles help all of us, that’s why a wee bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life’s difficulties!
As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life’s harsh realities and disappointments. We don’t want our kids to struggle like we did.
But Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that overprotected children are more likely to struggle in
relationships and with challenges.
We’re sending our kids the message that they’re not capable of helping themselves.
To quote clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Mogel:
“It is our job to prepare our children for the road…; and not the road for our children…”